In love with a human

So, I've been reading a book recently reccomended to me by a friend. the title of the book is Quirkyalone, and it's got me thinking: there's a damn good chance I'm one of these people that have choose to have one of the most idiotic names for themselves.

Basically, the book isn't a anti-relationship book because god knows I'm into mutual partnerships, but it's given me a better look on how to a) approach people about myself and b) not get hurt. Which also tends to happen. The book is about being comfortable in being alone and knowing that if anyone understands you like you do, it's you. Friends are important. Coincidentally, my good friend (and roommate) started abandoning me around the time I got to the chapter on friendship. I hate feeling like the third wheel, but eventually everyone else will move on, and I'll be there. Either that or I get emotionally torn up and end up crying to her because I'm lonely. Both of which are great options.

But then I started thinking about friendship and how (sometimes) it can escalate into something much more. Recently I've been with this boy. When I looked at him, I saw happy. He's a total asshole, someone I would normally want to punch in the face. Traditional to some extent, but liberal. But it came to be one of those things where I was there to be in his company and he was there because I was there. When you look at someone because you're such good friends with them and you just see something budding... and then it's quickly put out by the world's biggest bucket of ice-cold water.

Illusions suck. So does thinking at 1:30. You get an elaboration later.